The End Of Lies

Perfect World story (The NOW) The Professor chapter 1

Morehouse: Hello! I'm John Morehouse, Internet billionaire, and I'm the host of 'Science Detective' here at the History Channel. It's my job to suss out and gain evidence of new technology being designed, wherever it may be. That's not always easy-- scientists working on the next big invention are usually a closed-mouth bunch, but I use a secret weapon to pry their jaws open-- money. If they can show me that their pride and joy actually works as predicted, I'm prepared to take it to market and make that inventor a wealthy man!

I'm standing in front of a creaky old farmhouse in Kansas, half a mile from the nearest neighbor. This is the home of Professor Len Thackery, and I've heard from my sources that he's supposed to have created an earth-shattering invention. I made the trip out to the middle of nowhere because I'm certain this is something you'll want to see-- I surely do.

Morehouse (VO): He has no idea I'm coming-- it'll be interesting to see how he reacts to my proposal! I knock on the door and am immediately greeted by a middle-aged man in a rumpled white lab coat who obviously hasn't had a haircut in quite some time. I start to make my introductions, but he shushes me.

Thackery: Hello-- I've been expecting you! Don't ask how-- it'll be made clear enough soon enough. Well, are you coming in, or do I have to bring it out to you? That'll be difficult because it happens to be immobile. Ahh, good! Walking! You DO know how! Come, come... up the stairs and into my lab. Well, it's actually my bedroom, but my wife is on extended vacation and, well, it's just easier this way. Don't stand on ceremony... just crowd around. Yes, you can sit on the bed... but take your shoes off, yes? Those are cornfields outside, corn which grows out of cow crap.

"I've got something to show you-- and here it is. I know it just looks like a computer-- that's because it IS, but it's just the vehicle for this incredible device. I mean, the hardware on the tower is what's incredible, and the software I designed that makes the calculations is epic, but that's mostly because of what it does! What you're looking at is... wait for it... is a time machine!

Morehouse: A time machine... really? There have been many inventors who have tried to find a way to beat time, professor. All have failed. And it seems likely that time travel will never be possible, because we've never been able to prove that anyone who claims to be a visitor from the future, actually IS. I don't mean to cast doubt, sir, but my audience deserves to know all the facts.

Thackery: Of course, of course... I understand. I have no desire to be labeled a crackpot. Remember, I said it was a TIME machine, not a time TRAVEL machine. We can't actually walk around in history-- that's not possible right now, not with our present level of technology. But we CAN observe. That's right... with this Time TV we can watch any location on the planet at any period in history as if there there were a cameraman there, capturing events firsthand. Now you have to admit, watching a TV documentary of any time in history using actual footage is a very good thing, eh? We can dial in a particular date and time and relative position on the globe and, once it has zeroed in, we can watch it on the screen, in full color and stereophonic sound!

Morehouse: Now THAT'S an original twist! Time Television, huh? It has a nice ring to it. I should be bowled over, but I'm a real skeptic, so I'll wait on the hysterics until you can prove it to me, okay?

Thackery: Sure, sure! But don't worry... you'll be in control of the device, calling out all the dates from your own personal life, so you'll be deciding if it works or not. For example, I certainly wouldn't know the date of your first kiss, or with whom you had it, right?

Morehouse: Umm, that's right... though this is a G-rated show, so let ME pick the events, okay professor? Can I choose ANY date?

Thackery: Not ANY date. Okay, ANY date, but not at ANY time. Actually, ANY time as well, but there is a catch. Half the dates are not available at any given time. However, twelve hours later the Earth will drift into position so we will be able to see anything from the far side of the Earth. We can calculate those times too, and set up viewing for when our Earth comes into position relative to OLD Earth. Would you care for some tea, John?

Morehouse: Yes, thank you. So what do you envision it will be used for, Doc?

Thackery: I know it can be used for a lot of things! The one use that springs to mind would be a fact-checker. Whatever we know about distant past events comes from eyewitnesses, and people are notorious for inaccuracy. More recently, video cameras have been used, but most don't have sound and usually, they are not shot at the best angle. This device, though, picks up sound clearly, and can be positioned for any angle you want, and any TIME you want. We could find out who first discovered FIRE!

Additionally, it can be used to follow any person, forward or backward in time, to watch their actions and travels, helping to corroborate innocence... or to guarantee guilt. I bet it'll be used to get the real story about famous events in our history-- the Boston Tea Party, the grassy knoll, even the crucifixion of Jesus Christ!

Morehouse: The possibilities seem endless, Doc! We could install one of these in every courthouse to eliminate trials. Innocence and guilt as quick as watching your favorite TV show-- now THAT'S justice! How does it work?

Thackery: It's actually pretty easy. When we look in the night sky, we're seeing light coming from each star that is millions or billions of years old. Get a powerful enough telescope to view the surface of a planet circling that star, and you're watching something that happened on that planet millions or billions of years ago.

Now, the Earth turns on its axis, and also revolves around the Sun. Those are two movements.
But the Sun in turn revolves around an arm of the Galaxy. The Galaxy has its own movement, and at some point every particle in the Universe is moving away from the Big Bang. Those smokin' hot calculations I mentioned earlier are used to calculate exactly where Earth was at any particular moment in time. I call that Earth's Universal Path. Then we focus NASA's VDA telescope on that spot and adjust for temporal shift. That's it.

Morehouse: (amused sarcasm) That's it... nothing more? How simple! It's so very very elementary, Doc. Why, a grade school student could've puzzled it out!

Thackery: (seriously) You're right, John. It was in grade school when I first calculated Earth's Universal Path.

Morehouse: HA!

Thackery: Then I wrangled the software in that ancient arcade game Asteroids to work in four dimensions while taking into account mass and gravitational pull. It's taken until now for NASA's hardware to catch up with my end of things.

Time for a demonstration. Pick a day in your life you have a question about, John... let's see if we can answer it for you once and for all.

Morehouse: Okay, I think I've got one. Back in college, I was pledging a fraternity that all of my friends were at. I was practically a legacy, guaranteed to get in. But come vote night, I got a black ball and never got in.

Thackery: Too bad. So what did you want to know?

Morehouse: I'd like to know who blackballed me!

Thackery: Why not? Here we go... Watch the screen. I enter the date and time in one set of boxes, and the address, city and state in another set; then I press 'Enter'. This should only take a few moments.

Morehouse (VO): Just like a computer-- there's the spinning beach ball. But that only lasts for about 10 seconds, and then a blurry image coalesces. As it clears we see that it is moving quickly, and the planet Earth is pretty far away. But it rushes towards us quickly, then we drop into the atmosphere and past clouds at sizzling speeds. I recognize land and water features and can tell we are near my college.

As fast as it was moving before, now the screen is progressing quite slowly, down fraternity row the way a police car might patrol the street. We get to Delta, the frat house I was rushing, and the professor fiddles some dials; the scene moves up the walkway and into the house. I can see all the pledges sitting nervously in the front room, and as each pledge takes their turn in the voting chair, I see the voting marbles roll down a chute coming out of the wall. It is usually just a formality... by the time pledges get to that room they have long been approved for admittance.

But when it is my turn to sit in that chair, the black marble just stares out against the background of white marbles in that tray, and after that I was quite literally drummed out! A member wearing a hood and a snare drum leads me out of the house and down the street.

Thackery: Ooh! Tough break!

Morehouse: Yeah, especially since my father had donated a wing to their house... it was the wing we were in when I got 'drummed' out. He wanted to sue the fraternity, but it would have been a suicidal business move since many of his clients are Deek alums.

Thackery: Well, let's go into the vote room and see who the culprit is.

Morehouse (VO): The vote room is strictly off limits during the voting process, but the camera moves right in without an invitation, or even a protest. Right now I feel like a ghost haunting the event. It moves past the 'college' me, through the wall and into the vote room. One by one I see my friends approaching the vote tray with two marbles; one black, and one white. They would place one in the tray and the other in the can; the one in the tray rolled out front and became the vote. Their backs to the others, one after the other my friends placed a white marble and voted for me. Then came the legendary black marble. Suddenly it all became clear when I saw the face of my executioner.

Thackery: So who was it, John? Don't keep me waiting, for goodness' sake!

Morehouse: It was the friend I always beat in chess.

Thackery: Well, THAT's a shitty reason to blackball you.

Morehouse: AND, I wouldn't let him cheat off me during our Biology final. I was ethical that way in college.

Thackery: Still... not good enough.

Morehouse: Err... AND I slept with his girlfriend.

Thackery: BINGO!

Morehouse: AND his sister.

Thackery: Ouch!

Morehouse: AND his mother. I was unethical that way in college.

Thackery: You hit the Trifecta, John. With that record, you really didn't know who blackballed you?

Morehouse: Well, I didn't think he knew! After all, none of the other guys did.

Thackery: Hold the phone! You mean you...?

Morehouse: Yep. All of 'em. I was a shameless sex addict, Doc. I mowed through Sorority Row like a farm implement.

Thackery: I guess SO. (pause) Ahem! Well... so what do you think of my invention, John?

Morehouse: Astonishing! I am absolutely sold! I can't believe how clear the quality of the pictures from the past are! Are there any limitations to the machine, Doc?

Thackery: At some point the Earth's Universal Path becomes too far away to get a clear picture. That will change as telescopes get even more powerful. Right now I can only see about a million years into Earth's past. That's not long enough to see the planetoid strike that created the moon, I'm afraid, but all of human history is available to view, so that's a plus.

Morehouse: How close to the present can you see?

Thackery: Pretty close... depending on a variety of factors, no closer than a day, usually.

Morehouse: The more I think about it, Doc, the more I realize that, like nuclear energy, this Time TV has the power to be devastating. After all, it effectively brings about the end of lying as we know it. Nothing which is said cannot be easily verified with your invention. Even with that one-day lag, the potential for abuse with type-A businessmen is staggering. Speaking of staggering, I've got to sit down... I'm suddenly very dizzy.

Thackery: That's true on both comments, John. The potential for business abuse is tremendous... and you ARE very dizzy. I made sure of that when I drugged your tea. By the way, you ARE seated. You see, when I said I knew you were coming at the beginning of the interview, I wasn't kidding. I used the device to investigate YOU, John. I know where much of your wealth comes from... how you conned those would-be inventors out of their life's work and used them for your own selfish desires. And I heard that conversation you had with your 'security' guy before planning the trip out here, and I knew what he had planned for me. Did you know that I have a series of tunnels dug under the fields around my house? Some of the richest growing soil came from those tunnels-- you should try my radishes... oh! I forget... you will. You AND your security guy will be put in a cell down in the tunnel, and for quite a long time, I would imagine.

Yes, I have big plans for the Time TV. With it, I can finally determine who is calling the shots on planet Earth and affect their decisions in a way that will benefit the planet and the people instead of the wealthy few. If they won't be swayed, well, I have plenty of empty cells. There's really no reason we can't turn things around in short order once the selfish and greedy are taken out of control and placed like rats in cages underground... a fitting end, wouldn't you say? Oh, of course you wouldn't... you've been paralyzed this whole time. Well, better roll you over to the slide. Down you go-- hey, good for you! You landed right in the cart so I don't have to drag you to your cell. That's the way to be a model prisoner. Depending on how long it takes me to rid the world of the scourge called greed, I could have you out of here in as little as three or four... decades, I would think. I'll get you a book.

Copyright 2009 Bruce Ian Friedman