The Last Episode of "30 Days" (part 2)

Perfect World story (The NOW)

(continued from the post 'The Last Episode of Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days')

Day 2

Spurlock (vo): After Joe has settled into his new surroundings, he's ready to give back to the city with his first day of work. He takes another laser arc shower, asks the computer for breakfast, then attempts to find his way to his job in the city garden. After a few failed turns where he somehow ended up in the machinery repair complex, he gives up and calls out for assistance. Immediately the green arrow appears, pointing the right way. A moment later, he emerges outdoors, and walks up to the first person he sees, an attractive young woman with long chestnut brown hair.

Joe: Hi! I'm Joe, and I'm here to work.

Vienne: Hi Joe! I'm Vienne. Just ask the computer... that's what we all do.

Joe: Thanks, Vienne! Say, where are you from?

Vienne: Originally... New York City.

Joe: Me too! Why did you move here?

Vienne: (smiles coyly) You'll see!

They speak for awhile and agree to meet later. She pulls him closer and he's not sure what she's doing when she reaches down his shirt, but she grabs his ID chip, pulls it out and presses it to hers.

Vienne: Now the computer will know who you're talking about!

Computer: I already knew, Vienne.

Vienne: (giggling) I know, I know. But Joe didn't know you knew!

Spurlock (vo): She walks off and Joe admires her athletic form in that skin-tight, alluringly translucent tunic. Then he shakes his head, and asks the computer where he's supposed to be. The computer directs him to his place in the garden complex and he realizes it's much more a farm than a garden. It is a swath of land a mile long nestled between his hi-rise and another in the distance, set up in perfectly straight rows.

His job is to plant tomato seeds, but there is no back-bending required. He is directed to an enormous garage which houses all the farming machinery. He climbs into a compact sower, which begins moving once he's seated. It loads itself from the seed bank and arrives at the starting location. He then watches the console as the machine plants and waters a thousand seeds a minute, making sure there are no machinery jams or other problems.

Three hours later he is finished, having begun the lives of a couple of hundred thousand tomato plants. He returns the machine to the maintenance garage and asks the computer what's next on his agenda.

Computer: You're done for the day, Joe. Go meet Vienne. She's waiting for you.

Joe: Hubba-hubba!

Computer: I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that, Joe.

Joe again follows the arrow into his mega-scraper. He ends up at a restaurant on the 98th floor, where Vienne is waiting.

Joe: (surprised) Oh! Hi! I'm still amazed how smoothly this all works. How did you know to be here?

Vienne: I had the computer set it up... I figured you'd be hungry after work.

Joe: Yup... amazed. So, do we wait for servers, or eat food directly out of a trough?

Vienne: (giggles) Just say what you want, Joe!

Joe: I should know better already! A sandwich, computer. Surprise me.

Vienne: And I'll have a salad... and a Porterhouse, rare.

Computer: ETA 6 minutes for the Porterhouse. ETA 2 minutes for the pastrami and cottage cheese on banana bread sandwich.

Joe: I hope you're joking, computer. Porterhouse, huh? Wow. What job did you have this morning... warding off cossacks?

Vienne: (giggles) I'm a girl who likes her meat, what can I say?

Joe: Where do you put it all? You're a tiny wisp of a thing!

Vienne: I'll show you. Computer, transfer the meals to my place. Let's go, Joe.

Spurlock (vo): And with that Joe learns about another wonderful feature of Aden-- the flawless hookup. Joe emerges from her quarters several hours later, shaky but smiling, and the green arrow appears at the floor to direct him home, where he collapses in exhaustion. Later he rises and asks the computer what's next. He seems to have forgotten completely about television.

Computer: Would you like to write a book?

Joe: What? Why would you ask that?

Computer: One of your earlier tests revealed you have a gift for description. I'm willing to bet that you haven't experienced anything like Aden before.

Joe: No, I have not. But... doesn't that take a ton of, oh I don't know... writing?

Computer: Not necessarily, Joe. If you pick a topic and discuss it with me, I can organize your comments into a rough draft which you can edit orally. I can keep listening throughout your day and pick up any interesting commentary you might utter. If you wanted, I could give it an erotic slant. Your time in Vienne's home alone is enough to begin a new genre. I'd be blushing right now... if I had cheeks.

Joe: Well... it HAD been awhile, and she is a lovely and alluring woman. And very bendy!

Computer: I'm not surprised, Joe... she is a champion gymnast, after all.

Spurlock (vo): Joe is excited about the prospect of writing a book. He didn't realize it but that was something he'd been wanting to do for a long time. He began to recite as he headed over to another unique Aden feature-- the indoor rapids.

On the roof of his mega-scraper there is a water park. A dozen olympic-sized swimming pools are scattered between waterfalls, fountains, hot tubs and slides, and a stream. The rooftop itself is indistinguishable from nature, boasting grass, trees and rolling hills. People are scattered about, sunning their perfect nude bodies while laying on foam rocks in the shape of lounge chairs.

Joe eases into the stream, being pulled along in the current, until it drops off the roof's edge in a steep waterfall! Joe screams as he is launched into the void beside a hundred story building, certain of his impending death. But he had not counted on the protruding chute several stories below, which caught him and every drop of stream water. Then the real ride begins.

Looking every bit like nature, the rapids shoot through a long, twisting rock canyon with overhanging foliage that in reality winds around and through the enormous skyscraper, past offices and gymnasiums, restaurants and residences, dropping over 1ooo feet in the course of a three mile, ten minute, bracing adventure. At first he just screams his head off, but as the chute continues he calms, and begins to voice his impressions of Aden so far...

Joe: ... And then the food just pops up, poof! (reaches the end and crashes into the foam barrier, ass-over-elbows) Woooooooooo! Did you get all that, computer?

Computer: ...O-o-o-o exclamation point. Got it. Care to go again? Take the Aquavator to your left.

Spurlock (vo): Joe heads over to one of a series of 3 foot wide clear tubes that stretch up and out of sight, and steps into one. The door seals and water rushes in from below.

Joe: Whoa!

Computer: It's salt water-- very buoyant, Joe. Just relax and enjoy the ride.

Spurlock (vo): Rapidly the tube fills and Joe, bobbing like a cork at the waterline, is shot upwards so quickly that the floors blur by. He briefly wonders if he reaches the roof at that speed how high above the building he would shoot before arcing back down and plummeting to his death; he guessed double the height of the megascraper. But it was not meant to be, as the water obediently slowed to a crawl in the last few feet and stopped right at the tube's edge, spilling nary a drop. He hopped out and was back in the rapids, this time trying it in an inner tube.

After his third and final ride back up the Aquavator Joe could stand no more, so laid on one of the foam rock lounge chairs for a sunny snooze. He could barely feel it when the chair changed shape and flipped him to prevent sunburn.

Day 6

Spurlock (vo): Joe has gotten accustomed to his schedule. He works every other day for a few hours, which is more work than is required of him but much less than he's used to and which will afford him a tidy paycheck at the end of his stay. The rest of his time is taken up in the pursuit of his new passion-- learning everything he can about Aden, and trying as much of it on as possible.

He's just heard about how differently the children here learn their lessons and wants to see for himself. He heads to a podschool on the 63rd floor. It is slightly reminiscent of the school he went to-- it had a hall, anyway. But the doors! There were hundreds of doors in this hallway, each with a small light above it, red or green. Most were red.

Computer: Go into a door under a green light, Joe.

Joe: What's in the rooms with red lights?

Computer: Students.

Joe: Well, can't I go in with other students?

Computer: Not really... there would be no room. These are one-person compartments, Joe. Just enough room for the student, and me. Here's one-- get in.

Joe: (enters and closes the door. It's like a movie preview booth, only more interactive) Now what?

Computer: What subject would you like to learn?

Joe: You seem to know me pretty well. What would you suggest?

Computer: I'm flattered. How about bookmaking?

Joe: (surprised) You have gambling here?

Computer: (patiently) You're writing a book. You can also make the book-- the pages, the cover. The whole package.

Joe; Ohhh! Book- MAKING. Okay, let's do it.

Spurlock (vo): The computer screen glows and Joe begins an interactive lesson on how to make an attractive book. When he has the basics down the computer guides him to another booth with a craft station where he can actually construct a book. It is a larger room and has a live instructor to provide hands-on assistance.

Joe: Hi, I'm Joe. Are you a full-time teacher?

Thelo: I'm Thelo, and I'm full time as much as anyone else here. I got the call to come help you with bookmaking so I dropped by. I spend a lot of time on stage, because I'm also a busy actor.

Joe: I'm sorry I didn't recognize you.

Thelo: (laughs) You probably wouldn't. I only act here in Aden, for Adeners, live on stage.

Joe: Did you leave in the middle of a performance?

Thelo: In the middle of a sentence! (laughs) Nah, just kidding! I was in another part of the podschool teaching Asian cuisine to a seven-year-old girl.

Joe: A seven year old? Could she follow the complexity?

Thelo: Yeah. Most kids finish college before puberty, so they can spend those insane teenage years boinking until their parts are raw. I know I did.

Joe: How is that even possible?

Thelo: A dedicated effort with 8 or 10 partners a day is enough to make even elephant's skin tender.

Joe: No! Err, I was talking about the schooling, Thelo. How can you cram that much learning into someone so young?

Thelo: (laughs) Oh! Well, we don't learn like you Outers do. School is different. Classes are custom tailored to the specific talents of each student, so they don't struggle learning topics which will hold no interest to them throughout life.

Joe: (jealously) Where were you while I was failing precalc?!

Thelo: (shuddering) I HATE math. All I can do is add and subtract, and divide.

Joe: You can't multiply?

Thelo: I don't have any kids that I KNOW of! (roars with laughter)

Joe: (groaning) I can't believe I fell for that... you have bad jokes here in Aden, too?

Thelo: I TEACH the class!

Spurlock (vo): In short order Joe has put together an attractive, leather bound edition of his book;Now all it needed were the words.

Day 12

Joe has thoroughly studied his entire building enclave and would like to visit other parts of the city. The computer displays a full city map, which shocked Joe with its size.

Joe: I've spent almost 2 weeks on just 2 PERCENT of the city?

Computer: We've been busy building... what can I say? You're not the only arrival to Aden, Joe. Over a thousand people a week move here permanently.

Joe: (amazed) How do they find out about Aden? It's not on any map, nor is it mentioned anywhere in public scrutiny! Even your trades with the outside world are handled through dummy corporations with no ties to Aden!

Computer: I gotta tell ya, it's so rad how we do it!

Joe: (incredulously) Did you just say 'It's so rad'?

Computer: You're still surprised by me, Joe?

Joe: Oh, I guess not. So HOW do they find out?

Computer: We wrote a book and put it on the Outers' bookstores and libraries, and advertised it so that only certain types of people would find it.

Joe: What kind of people?

Computer: Smart, flexible. Nonreligious. Anyway, those who did read the book were left with an itch to find the city, which sounds more real than imagined as it's described in the book. Most of the people who arrive here aren't even certain it exists until they see it with their own eyes. Remember 'Close Encounters Of The Third Kind'?

Joe: Wow! Double wow! So these people just give up their former lives to come here?

Computer: Happily. Normally, new Adeners just tell people they're 'moving to Cowpieville' or someplace undesirable like that, and we come get them and their stuff late one evening.

Joe: What about their finances and debts... what happens to those?

Computer: They are free to keep their finances, or invest it with me. My current interest rate is 14%.

Joe: Wow. I can't even get 14 hundredths with my bank.

Computer: Most new Adeners don't come here with any debts... remember, I said we look for smart people. Many use their own funds to pay for their vacations and extra-city jaunts-- they don't touch a cent in city coffers because they realize what a benefit living here is and see no reason to take advantage.

Joe: Why nonreligious?

Computer: Why Joe, we're a fact-based society! There's no place here for people with 'beliefs' that have no basis in reality. People like that are responsible for injustice and wars, whenever they believe that your actions are not acceptable to them. They are implacable and narrow minded-- diametrically opposed to your average Adener. And don't get me started on Born-Agains...

Spurlock (vo): After getting a mouthful from the computer Joe begins to see how important it is to shelter Aden from the viciousness of 'Outers' who aren't with the program. He realizes that this 'Perfect World' called Aden needs to be inhabited with people who are 'perfect' for this 'world'.

Joe: Computer, I think I know which direction I want this book to go.

Computer: Joe, I'm proud of you.

Joe: Now, off to parts unknown!

Computer: Follow my...

Joe: ...Little green arrow, yes I know, my dear.

Spurlock (vo): Joe took a skycab to learn the rest of the city. He found out that his mega-scraper was one of six and was each home to between 20 and 40 thousand people; that there were 48 at-or-beneath ground enclaves, each which housed about 2 thousand people; and that at least 30 thousand people wanted to live the old fashioned way, in standard houses on standard roads, all which encircle and lead to Aden. He saw most of the land used for farming or recreation, all carefully planned and sculpted. He even saw the VeeStreak airless maglev train that darted back and forth between the towers and around the entire valley at ridiculous speeds. It's a modern metropolis, built in and for the 21st century.

Joe set down in another mega-scraper just for comparison, and was amazed to learn he was in an entirely different environment. He found out it was primarily a science building and was where most of Aden's fantastic new products were developed. Scientists had a different work ethic and spent most of their waking hours in the lab, so each had a large apartment with a door leading right into work. Their families were no longer science widows because they were always just a few yards away.

Joe marveled at the building's modern lines, its high tech features and its high-speed corkscrew escalators that mimicked the straight up-and-down action of an elevator, but without doors. The other megascrapers were similarly tasked; there was one exclusively dedicated to families and education; another attracted artists of every endeavor; still another cared for the elderly.

Joe: Computer, what is my building tasked for?

Computer: Horny singles.

Joe: It all makes sense now.

DAY 20

Spurlock (vo): Exploring the city has become a full-time adventure for Joe. He hasn't been back to his apartment for days, so the computer has been finding sleeping arrangements for him wherever he is when it's time for bed. He is even keeping up with work, as the computer finds appropriate employment wherever he is. He spent half a day restocking art supplies for the painters in one megascraper. A few days later he worked the cafeteria for a podschool in another. Today he wants to meet Adeners who live the more traditional existence of single family home life. He stops at a random home on the outskirts of Aden and knocks on the door. A nine-year-old girl answers.

Joe: Hi, I'm Joe! Can I talk to your parents?

Girl: I'm Phoebe. Come in. Mom-- he's here!

Joe: (surprised) You knew I was coming?

Phoebe: Shirley told me.

Joe: Who's Shirley?

Woman: (coming around corner) Shirley is the name Phoebe gave to the computer. Hi, Joe. I'm Phoebe's mother Djareel. (she hugs him and kisses his cheek. She is a stunning woman in her early 30's)

Joe: (a little unnerved) Oh! Uh, um... hi?

Djareel: (laughs) Come, let's take the tour! It's a small home but there are some special features I think you'll want to see!

Spurlock (vo): Djareel shows Joe the ultramodern private home she shares with her two kids and their father. It features movable walls which can be shuffled into hundreds of configurations. The house was a combination of active and passive solar design and drew very little power off the city grid. An extendable robotic arm on a track in the ceiling could move about the house and clean, cook, organize and even shuffle the walls. All recyclables were organized and processed for reuse. Even the waste line drained into a chemical plant that produced high-grade chemicals and soil enrichment products.

But Joe's favorite part of the house was the downstairs. He thought he was being shown a finished basement, and he was, but beyond that funroom was a doorway that led to the city's clever public transportation system. Completely underground, it wasn't a street, it wasn't a railway-- but kind of a combination of the two. Ultralight vehicles were stationed by every home and hooked into a magnetic floor guide system that pulls the car to any destination using an isolated electromagnetic pulse; spaced pulses guarantee no cars ever collide. The underground system was vast, leading to every building in the city.

Joe: This is absolutely amazing! You can get anywhere in the city without going outside!

Djareel: VERY convenient on those chilly or wet days.

Joe: What about leaving the city... or taking a nice drive on a beautiful spring day... how do you accomplish that?

Djareel: The city's motor pool, of course. Check out a vehicle and return it whenever.

Joe: Of course... silly me. But how do you leave Aden? There are no roads that connect to the rest of the USA!

Djareel: That's not entirely true, Joe. There is one road here that pokes through a mountain... on the other side it becomes a magnetic road that hooks to the rest of the nation on the business side of a rusty gate.

Joe: Darned clever of you.

Djareel: Let's take a ride, Joe!

Joe: Sure! But... what about your daughter?

Djareel: Shirley will watch over her. Phoebe is in the middle of podschool anyway.

Joe: She's home-schooled?

Djareel: No such thing here, Joe. She's at home today only because she has a cold. Podschool information is available at any console... only physical learning like art or music need be done at the school proper. Where would you like to go?

Joe: I've seen just about everything Aden except those underground towns. How about those?

Djareel: Ooh, fun! Let's do it!

Spurlock (vo): Djareel and Joe step into an Ultralight Vehicle (ULV); a wheeled, carbon nanotube cast structure that weighs barely more than a bicycle. A word to the computer and they're off, tugged along on the polished floor by a strong magnetic pulse bonding to the ULV's receiver plate. The tunnel was wide and low, well lit and well used-- they pass hundreds of other ULV's at a brisk 60 mph. Occasional panoramic windows remind them of the beauty in Aden valley. They arrive in five minutes; the tunnel widens and the ULV parks itself in the station room.

The underground towns are mostly manufacturing plants and the workers' surrounding dwellings. The 'blue collar' crowd is especially fond of the Mardi Gras lifestyle, and between shifts attend many events of a party nature. Joe and Djareel arrive just in time for an event called a 'Water Dance'. The music is pulsing and loud as they enter.

Djareel: (shouting) Take off your clothes!

Joe: (shouting) What?

Djareel: For the water dance! They'll get all wet otherwise. If you're shy, put this on.

Joe: (confused) Is this a thong? Which side is in front?

Djareel: (giggles) That goes on your head.

Joe: Oh. (looking around sheepishly) Change right here?

Djareel: Shirley, we have a shy one!

Computer: Joe, step back 2 paces!

Joe: (does it, and a shade drops in front of him) Thanks, SHIRLEY!

Computer: (smartly) I can see your ass!

Joe steps out, modeling the same second skin translucent tunic as Djareel.

Djareel: (wolf whistles) Sexy! Let's go!

They head towards the music. An expansive room is enshrouded in mist and smoke. Darting lights pierce the gloom. The floor is writhing with dancers, many nude, some wearing tunics. Platforms like flat mushrooms are scattered about, and more people are crowded onto them, embracing, interlocking, at one with the evening. Joe stares, wide-eyed.

Joe: (slowly) Djareel... did you know this was going to be happening here now?

Djareel: Didn't you? I thought that's why you wanted to come here!

Joe: Aren't you married? I usually respect other people's marriage bonds.

Djareel: (looking confused) O-kay... did you want to ask my husband? He's right there.

Joe: (looking where she gestures) That guy? The one kissing two women simultaneously?

Djareel: To the left of them.

Joe: (incredulous) Your husband is the Sumo wrestler on top of that large BBW?

Djareel: No. He's the one BENEATH.

Joe: (peering harder) Oh. OH MY! Is he gonna be all right?

Djareel: He has a crushing fetish, and as you can see I don't have the proper mass. Fengi and Luanna there are his answer. He'll be fine... in a couple of days.

Joe: Yes, I can see that you do NOT, and thank goodness for that. By the way, have I mentioned how fantastic you look in that tunic?

Djareel: It's body paint... but thank you. Ummm, Joe, you seem to be pitching a bit of a tent.

Joe: How do I get out of this fricken' tunic?!

Day 30

Spurlock (in Aden): It's been a month of firsts for Joe Thwacker, and the month is finally over. Has he been convinced that this new society, this experimental city called Aden, is better than his life as a pusher of products for a huge conglomerate back in the Big Apple?

(approaches Joe's apartment, knocks)

This will be an interesting interview-- Joe's primary goal back in New York was always to save enough money each year for a blowout vacation. I wonder where he plans on going this year?

(knocks again, louder)

I hear they keep people busy in Aden. I bet he's crashed out in there, asleep to the world!

Computer: What's your name, honey?

Spurlock: (looks around, bewildered) Who said that? Where are you? What's going on?

Computer: Tut, tut... me first! What's your name?

Spurlock: Morgan... I'm Morgan Spurlock from 30 Days. Where ARE you?

Computer: Hello, Morgan! I'm all over. What can I do for you?

Spurlock: What...?

Computer: I can see you're a little confused. Let me help. Are you looking for Joe?

Spurlock: Yes... what do you mean, 'all over'?

Computer: I'm everywhere at once. Joe's not home.

Spurlock: Everywhere at once... oh, I get it! You're on speaker! You're calling from Aden security, right? Umm... not here? He was supposed to be here!

Computer: Sort of... I AM on speaker, that much is true. Joe left a message. But Aden has no Security, really. Just me.

Spurlock: (sarcastically) What message, Supergirl? THAT'S Aden's secret, right? Krypton is real and you're faster than a speeding curling iron?

Computer: How CLEVER, Morgan! I can see why they chose you as host! Umm, Joe's not going to go back with you.

Spurlock: (to director) Cut. CUT! What's going on here, Jay? I thought you had arranged all this ahead of time?

Bluemke: Sorry, Morgan. I talked to that chick on the phone and she told me it was okay to bring the crew down.

Spurlock: What chick?

Bluemke: THAT one... the one on speaker-- I recognize her voice.

Computer: Oh, right... I remember! Jay Bluemke the director, right?

Bluemke: Uhh... (uncomfortable look to Spurlock) yeah, that's right, honey. What's going on here? We're burning daylight, fer crissake!

Computer: All will be explained momentarily, gentlemen. If you'll follow me...?

Spurlock: Follow WHO? Where ARE you?

Computer: Oops, I mean, follow the little green arrow on the floor. We're not going far.

Spurlock: (exasperated) Phhh! I can't believe this. Well, let's go... (singsong) and follow the bouncing arrow, boys.

Computer: We're almost there. "The men round the corner and open a pair of double doors, then rub their eyes in astonishment..."

Spurlock: (cutting her off) Hey, lady, what the hell are you doing?

Computer: The audience has to have a narration, or they won't know what happens next. And you're about to become very busy.

Spurlock: Whaddaya mean, what happens next? What happens next?

Computer: THIS! "Looking past the doorway they see a beautiful sight-- an adult playground filled with beautiful women, who rush towards them with squeals of delight, surrounding and swarming them inside, stripping them down, dressing them in tunics and guiding each to their own cozy area to be pampered and caressed."

Spurlock: (panicked) Wait, wait, wait, wait! I can't do this... I'm getting married!

Computer: "It took a moment before Morgan realized the most beautiful of the women stroking him was, in fact, his fiancé Alexandra."

Alex: It's okay, honey. Close your eyes and enjoy this."

Spurlock: ALEX?!? What are you doing here?

Alex: Moving... and so are you! This place is great!

Computer: "The doors close behind them, cementing the fates of the '30 Days' crew to Aden, forever. Spurlock resists at first... for about an hour, before he yields to the inevitable temptations of the city. Eventually he settles on an occupation he's always wanted to try-- men's hairstyling.

Joe, now safe to remain, emerges from hiding and finishes his book, called 'Working Yourself To Life', which chronicles his eye-opening journey to happiness. He's forgotten about his job, his apartment and his money... but I haven't. I'm watching it all for him, as I do for everyone in Aden, and as I will for YOU when you get here.

What are you waiting for?"

Copyright 2009 Bruce Ian Friedman