Humanity 2.0

story

"I read it in the newspaper about a year ago, a small article buried deep in the 'Human Interest' section that reported about this crackpot billionaire who intended to 'bring down' capitalism. He would be using his entire fortune to design and institute a completely new way for people to live together on planet Earth. The article was so small and sparsely worded that I almost missed it entirely. Fortunately it was placed next to a splashy ad for a surefire heartburn remedy, which I needed because that chalky milkshake crap just wasn't cutting it any more.

Over the next few weeks I saw no mention of the claim and I wondered if the article had been placed as a hoax. I could almost not prove that I had ever seen it at all, except that I had torn the page out and kept it. The heartburn remedy turned out not to be surefire, just more of the same bullshit with barely any efficacy, nearly useless except for some mildly hallucinatory side effects. I bought a carton.

About a month later I saw another related article. This time it was closer to the front page, was more detailed and it made me think this guy was even more of a crackpot that I had thought before. He was attacking corrupt big business on every front in what I was certain were unsustainable ways. He attacked power companies by offering his own electricity, nationwide. He threatened automakers and oil companies by designing efficient, clean, electric vehicles. He provided his own cable network stocked with quality programming in every genre, devoid of advertising. He offered college education to anyone who wanted it. He bought hospitals nationwide and treated anyone who needed it. He opened thousands of fully stocked supermarkets. And he offered it all for free.

I said for free.

But as with all free things, there was a catch. Anyone who wanted all of these items had to agree to take a long battery of tests-- intelligence, psychological, physical, spatial, medical. They had to follow an exercise and dietary regimen. They had to spend significant time in one of his schools. Parents of young children had to allow childcare specialists into their homes. They eventually had to quit their jobs and work for him, at a job chosen by him.

I did not believe anyone would willingly limit their freedoms the way he wanted them to. Anyone besides me, that is. I had no kids, could stand to lose a few pounds, was between jobs and had always liked school, so everything he proposed seemed pretty good.

A few months later came another article. It was on page 3. It turned out there were a lot of people like me, who wouldn't mind allowing a gently guiding hand to turn them into smarter, healthier, better people. An estimated 30 million families had accepted his offer so far. It was beginning to take expected economic toll on the people left within the capitalist system. Corporations experiencing a drastic dip in sales had to lay off millions of workers. The housing market was thrown into turmoil as newly unemployed people failed to make their mortgage payments.

Money was growing scarce and people were fearful.

Not so for those in the billionaire's plan, though. He had offered them new housing when they joined him, free for the taking, based on their family size and needs. They were insulated from the economic meltdown because they never needed money: They would visit free stores for groceries and other needs; would eat at free restaurants and attend free concerts; took free vacations and threw free gala events. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times-- to coin a phrase.

The billionaire began to accept millions more people into his system; they were tested and placed and put on educational and dietary regimens. They began new professions even as their children began new educational programs. I was surprised to learn that, down to a man, each person was now only working half the hours as they had in their old lives. I was certain that the billionaire's concept would come crashing down as people's privacies and freedoms were restricted, as their lives were placed on a regulated track, but it did not; it flourished, and I was amazed at its longevity. I admit that at the time I had failed to understand the complex design at work before me, with its millions of man-hours of brilliantly plotted humanism designed around comfort and intellectual stimulation. But I was now in great physical shape and employed at a job I cherished, I was dating women I adore, and I didn't need that chalky liquid any more-- not for my stomach, nor for my mind-- so forgive me for not paying close attention to the Big Picture.

The paper was filled with news about how cities around the country began to seem empty; only the most successful capitalists with their oodles of money and vast storehouses of diminishing goods could afford to stay as the prices of fresh food and other services spiraled out of control. One by one the remaining wealthy families were bankrupted and forced to join the billionaire's plan, and one by one they were shocked at the level of comfort and plenty they were offered. They were even more surprised to learn that their new home was similar to all the other homes, because the billionaire was very aware that every person wished to live in contentment.

Eventually cities vacated completely and the billionaire issued a challenge: One by one each city would be dismantled and recycled, to be replaced by an ultramodern counterpart. Rather than the capitalist method of cobbling new onto old in order to save money, these cities would be designed down to the last beam for cleanliness and comfort and ease of use; without money as a stumbling block, the only issue was labor and resources. Working in unison, construction crews numbering in the tens of millions set to work, and in a half year's time had rebuilt every city into meccas of paradise.

Now transit systems moved people effortlessly wherever they needed to go, farming was largely automated and placed in favorable geographic climates and much of the countryside was gratefully relegated back to the beauty of nature.

It was one year to the day after that first article was published, when the billionaire made an announcement meant for every man, woman and child. Broadcasting on every device, on each channel he said:

"I have wanted to live in a world like we have here since I was a little boy, and am glad we have finally reached this place, together. I am only sorry that it took so long to bring about. I'm certain you are thinking that it was only a year, but I am speaking to the broad ascent of human knowledge, which I believe was crucial to achieve this vaunted level. We had allowed our technology to outpace our humanity, which could have served to destroy us as a race. Fortunately we are a strong and flexible people and could see the need to implement planet-wide social empathy.

"I believe we are on track now. We are no longer petty and vindictive, nor are we secretive and underhanded. We cooperate rather than compete. We are sensitive and insightful, nurturing and welcoming. We have a system in place which fosters positive behaviors. And we did it in a year! There was no major revolution, no taking of life, no struggle for power or squelching of the masses.

"But where do we go from here? You are living under, for lack of a better term, a benevolent dictatorship. Until now it has all been done my way. But you might be surprised to learn that from way up here in the dictator's office, things look a little different. I have had hundreds of experts working alongside me-- social reformers, city planners, educational specialists and the like-- and assembled a master plan for the human race which looked very much like it now does from your own windows. Once that plan was established it was converted into a software program, humorously called 'Humanity 2.0', and for this last year that program has been your dictator. I was simply the voice that relayed the choices it made for us. That ends today.

"Now I join ranks with all of you. What is a billionaire in a world that has no money, anyway? We will all be running this society ourselves from now on. We will have no politicians, we will have no president. Our society is an assemblage of thousands of complex areas, and we must manage them to ensure their survival, but we will manage wisely, with experts in those fields who will oversee projects based on these benevolent ideals, but only after gathering the thoughts and opinions from every one of us.

"We now have a direct hand in the course of human progress, and because each of you has become educated to the best of your ability, you will be able to manage sagely. Now you know how it is that humans are supposed to live: Free from fear, and strife, and sadness, and loneliness, and grief, and agony, and murderous intent. We now sincerely desire the same wonderful outcome for every young lad playing in the grass as we do for the babe on our very own knee; we want our neighbors, and friends and strangers to feel the love that we do, to have the fullness of life that we have. In reaching far forward, we have wisely found ourselves reaching back into our own personal pasts, back to the age of our childhood, and held on tightly to the trust and optimism found once only in the bright young eyes of our progeny."

And when that broadcast ended, it was the last time we ever heard his voice as representing the sound of progress, and he is missed by many. It was he in his wisdom that saw what we were becoming, and saw what we could become. It was he that forced our failing society into a rigid mold briefly, to make this difficult transition occur peacefully, so that we could finally become what we are today... a World Family. I know it's only been a year, but it's been a really, really big year. And I'm happy I was here to help it happen because in retrospect, I'm certain I never want to return to our former ways again. We will not fall back again because we have reached the pinnacle of prosperity; we have nothing to change. I'm hoping that together we can become even greater than what we are, greater than the sum of man."

"That was a very good dream, Tyler. You may be seated." The young man returned to his chair among the hundreds, being pelted with spitballs and milk cartons along the way. The young woman teaching the 'Learning to Dream' class walked from the back of the auditorium to the front, surveying her 375 sixth grade students. They were in riot mode, running around and yelling, throwing balls, engaging in arguments and in the back row she thought she could see a couple of them engaged in carnal behavior. She wondered if any of them heard young Tyler's inspirational story but doubted it, since they had no attention span and little curiosity. School wasn't much more than a daytime detention for children, until their parents got a break from work.

Passing one tall, bearded student who seemed to be threatening another with a switchblade, she pulled out a stun gun and short-circuited his synapses with a moderate jolt, and he fell into the row of wooden folding chairs with a crash. The bell rang and the room erupted-- well, all but the bearded attacker, who was beginning not to look like a sixth grader at all-- and poured out of the dingy, beaten room and into the dingy, beaten halls.

The teacher called security to have the prone figure removed and waited for her next class, 400 precocious 4th graders. She hoped someone had brought a pencil, for they were learning the letter 'f' today and she wanted to draw one for them. It was particularly hard for some of these kids, who had repeated this class many times but had never gotten that far in the alphabet. At least she was teaching in the best nation on the planet.

Copyright 2011 Bruce Ian Friedman